Six Ways to Make People Like You
Rule 1: Become genuinely interested in other people
"Do this and you will be welcome anywhere"
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you"
"Ask questions to other people, question that they would enjoy answering"
Everyone wants to be the center of attention from time to time, everyone likes the feel attention and they cannot deny it. It might not be the same for everyone to be the center of attention. Some might want to get the attention of thousands of people, others, just the attention of one person. No matter who it is, everyone wants and needs attention, therefor,
Rule 2: Smile
"Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you"
"You don't feel like smiling? then force yourself to smile"
It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign (witness or indication of friends)
A real smile is rare in today's world. everyone is stressed and has little to no time do what they enjoy in life, today everyone is wanting to become more and more perfect to fit in with their environment. A smile is only found on those type of people who have time for themselves and for everyone they care for. A smile can be forced, but it will not have the same strength with which it was meant to have, a forced smile can be thought of as person who is full, yet some is trying to give them more and more even though they said they where full and satisfied. This will only cause uncomfort within the person who is forcing and the person who is being forced.
But a real smile is a smile that comes when least expected, it is a gift from one person to another without anything in return, it is the gift that can either be returned or pass foward to another person. A real smile is more like a statement, it is stating that they feel glad, grateful and happy for everything they have (even if they have nothing). A real smile encourages another person to be happy no matter what is happening, to stay a good and happy person.
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
-Dr. Seuss
There is nothing more important than having a positive attitude, that includes a smile and an amazing attitude. Because in the end, nothing will matter if regret is in our hearts. I plan to be the happiest i can, even in the most of difficult times.
Rule 3: Remember names
"A man's name is to him the most sweet and most important sound in any language"
"If you don't remember names. you are headed for trouble"
A name is an identification of a person, it is vital to recognize a person from another. And it is not the name itself that brings joy or anger into a person, a person can scream their name of happiness if they wanted (but it would just be awkward and weird). Therefor we look for a person would say our name with the much sweetness we want to hear our name. And also, it is a little insulting if you meet someone and they put not enough attention into your conversation that they forget your name apparently instantaneous, and that is hurtful if you did pay attention at what they said, at least enough to remember their name. It really important to remember someones name because that is telling you that they are interested in you as a person and not of your surroundings or possessions(and by surroundings I mean the type of vibe you give of, where it is a good or bad) . It is important to remember someones name to be able to influence people and make new allies in the process of it.
The real names of our people were destroyed during slavery. The last name of my forefathers was taken from them when they were brought to America and made slaves, and then the name of the slave master was given, which we refuse, we reject that name today and refuse it. I never acknowledge it whatsoever.
-Malcolm X
How to remember names
-FACE method:Focus on the face of a person, Ask which version of their name they prefer, Comment on their name and Employ by using the name
-Repeat:Say it to yourself in you tr head or out loud, try to use it whenever possible but do not overuse it.
Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
"If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener"
"Remember that the man you are talking to is a hundred times more interested in himself and his wants and problems that he is in than you and your problems"
Many people will want to talk only what concerns them, and not even notice that you are there trying to talk about different subjects. This is done, not intentionally, but without notice; most of the people are caught up with their personal issues that they do not have the mind to think of someone else problems. This is understandable because we grew up thinking that we should only see for our self, our interest and our problems. Therefor, this rule would be pretty nifty and useful to know people as they really are. Listening to others(including their problems) will make theme feel secure, as if they where with a parental figure. But to make people talk about their problems, first one must encourage them to talk about themselves, not about you or any other topic, but about them. One mustn't me selfish and talk only of what is concerned to them if they want to meet and talk to knew people. And finally, one must be attentive of what they say, pay really close attention at every little detail of the conversation and keep it in mind to make that person feel special.
Rule 4 List
- Stay focused, keep natural eye contact and be patient.
- Listen and pay attention to what is being said, do not think about similar experiences or what you should say next.
- Allow for periods of silence, wait until the other person speaks again,
- Repeat what the person said from time to time.
- Understand the emotions behind the words
Rule 5 Talk in terms of the other man's interest.
"The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most"
Talking to a man about the things he adores is the best way to get him to trust you. But why is all of this important?
If a person trusts you, then you can use that to make a friend that you can always count on. But why are friends and colleagues important then? They are important for the simple reason to socialize. It is not vital to have anyone with who to spend the rest of your life together with. But it sure can makes it better, most of us want to be popular in though our school career, without thinking if we are doing the correct thing. We just simply want to be accepted by our peers. But, being accepted for doing wrong is not the correct way to do things, the correct thing to do is to listen to those who are taking use through the bad path because they are screaming for help. All they want is to be a good person and be accepted by everyone as one, but does not know how to. Therefore, the power of listening to a person is powerful for many reasons, ranging from making them feel better to manipulating them.
Rule 6 Make the other person feel important--and do it sincerely.
"The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature" -John Dewy
"Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic"
We as humans enjoy feeling important, especially if its for a certain person. We as humans need care and much more feelings aimed towards us to feel a sensation that can only happen between two people.
In simple words, make a person happy because you care for them, or admire them. Make them know that every time they need someone, you'll be there taid them in anything. Make them feel as part of your family (or something more if they interest you that much). And doing something sincere will make no regret, thus giving you a feeling of immense happiness.
All of this is vica versa, know that if you want to feel important, make someone feel the same.
Reflection
I once applied these rule to a person. And found them effective, but there was a small problem, he became too confident with me and began to talk as if he was a sailor. Cusing and being really rude at everything that he said, not to me but to everything he said and talked about. Nothing could stop him from causing. I know that there rules are effective and that they have a really good and honest meaning, but there are times that one must know who to apply them and who to avoid. I will continue to apply them although I had a hilarious experience with the awful barber who I applied the rules to.
Yet, that time is not the only time I had applied them, I utilized the rules to strengthen the
communication bonds, to better my personal environment and to give better impressions to my family, friends and girlfriend. At this point, the rules do not seem as a hassle to practice, now they seem as a joy that can be done with nature.
(no pun intended)